The last seven days have been a blur. Thoughts have been swimming around and around my mind; questions bursting to be answered but no answers to be found; anxiety about that which I have no control over; struggles to trust the God who loves his people and who will provide for them. These thoughts have been broken frequently by moments that brought clarity or joy or just simple sweetness to an otherwise hard week.
Here are some of those moments:
My friend Craig is one of the only people I can train with. I think it’s largely because he’s willing to do silly things like climb playgrounds, run around mountain bike trails in the rain, and laugh when either of us fail. This Sunday we took on some interval work that was based around a baseball diamond. It got us both muddy, sweaty, and there were moments when I’m sure he wanted to punch me, and then I wanted to scream at him. Of course, that was while we were timing each other going through the WOD and the other observed. The joy found in training amazes me everytime. The mud just made it that much sweeter.
My Hebrew book doesn’t have a cover anymore. It came off. I choose to believe it gives the book more character, rather than defacing or devaluing it. There’s a butterfly drawn in the front cover that I drew whilst feeling particularly overwhelmed by pronominal suffixes (what are they, you say? Don’t ask.) The butterfly causes me to smile everytime I see it. This week, through the clouds, I’ve begun to think that maybe Hebrew is something I can wrap my head around eventually. Just keep swimming. You can do it!
A short run in a pair of old shoes resulted in great pain. It was an error of judgement to run in those shoes, and half way through, the pain forced me to remove my shoes and take on the last 2km barefoot. It was slightly embarrassing at first to be running through Sydney Uni barefoot, but I concluded that people would assume I was either a bogan, or awesome, and that both assumptions were okay. I also did three chin ups in the middle of Glebe because there was a metal pole I could reach. That was exciting.
Tonight youth group was cancelled. This left me free to spend a night with friends. We went ice skating, and I’ll confess that I was reluctant to attend because I just felt flat, and tired, and like staying in bed was a better idea than anything else. The amount of refreshment that comes from spending a night just being around God’s people – with laughter and real conversation and silly selfless – is such a blessing. I forget that too often.
There are still thoughts bouncing around my mind about refugees, about those on our own shore who seek refuge, and about the words I want to write but can’t find shape or sense to write them with. But this week has been rich with blessings, in mud, in sweat, in laughter, and in Hebrew. Yes, even in Hebrew.