Exams remind me of rollercoasters, and not in a good sense of the word. At the beginning of the semester I strapped myself into this ride known as Moore Theological College and got ready to go. There were twists and turns that were scary but exhilarating but not too overwhelming. Stuvac hit and it felt like the slow uphill before a massive downhill that would lead to me being upside down and terrified that the ride would stop and I’d be left hanging, desperate and afraid and worried that if anyone walks below me the food I ate earlier might find it’s way out of my stomach and onto their head (too much information?).
I’m there. I’m hanging mid-air, with two exams out of the way and one left. It’s worth 100% of the grade for the subject and I find myself wondering if I know anything at all about the subject, or if I perhaps made a mistake and attended the wrong lectures. Nothing feels clear anymore, and these knots in my stomach wont go away.
Thing is, the rollercoaster will keep on moving and Friday afternoon I’ll step away and probably feel like I’ve at least passed the exam. Perhaps I will have even drawn a few cartoons to go with my essays. Perhaps I’ll feel okay about the whole process. I normally do about rollercoasters… the upside down is torture, but I’m always ready to do it again.
Before exams, lecturers pray. I’ve never attended an exam post-high school where someone hasn’t prayed for us beforehand and I realise how much of a blessing that is. I also forget to pray in these manic moments when I feel like it was a mistake to get on this ride in the first place. I feel a little bit like the Hobbit who has left home and has come too far to go back into the Shire, and now they just have to face the fiery mountains of Mordor head on and hope that they come out alive…
Rollercoasters and hobbits aside, would you pray for me and other students who feel similarly?