There’s a song by The Used that has one of the most gripping introductions in a song I’ve heard. It’s gripping because the darkness in it grabs my soul and drags it to a place that I never want it to be. It begins with the words, “small, simple, safe price. Rise to the wake and carry me with all my regrets.” It then becomes clear that the song is about self harm, but those three words echo in my mind sometimes.
Is that who I am?
Small, simple, safe.
Tough Mudder is looming ever closer. I’m conscious as each day with a missed workout ticks over. I’m conscious of every kilometre I run, every push up I do, every squat I don’t do.
And I’m sure of something, more and more. I’m sure that small, simple and safe is not enough. I need more. I need to life a life that God calls me to – one that’s full of dreaming big, of thinking deep, and taking risks.
Tough Mudder scares me. It scares me a lot. And I’m confident that my fear is a good thing. I’m confident that I will struggle and hurt through the course, but that I will finish it and be okay. And even if I don’t finish – if I get so hurt that I cannot continue, I will stand proud because I am not small, simple or safe.
Anything but that.