Marriage

My laptop is currently out of working order. I’m fairly certain it’s going to the laptop grave soon. This is why updates are scarce from me lately, but this morning I’m typing on my phone and praising God for the wordpress mobile app.

This morning I want to give some thought to submission. It’s a word that makes a lot of women cringe and can justify guys being jerks to women, too. I’d like to think about this specifically in the family, not within corporate church situations (that’s a whole other topic that I’m still thinking through. 1 Cor 14 has confused me recently). Ephesians gives us a good model for family. Somewhere in 1 Corinthians also contributes greatly to my understanding of this.

In the family, Christ is the head, man submit Christ, woman submits to the man, and children to their parents. If we consider this, we should first notice that the whole family is ultimately under the headship of Christ because they are part of God’s epic extended family and God’s the head of that one. And the smaller ones, too.

We then come to see that the woman submits to the man. Here is where I’ve had discussions with feminist friends who are struggling with this. I suppose my first question about this is… Women, why would you marry a man you wouldn’t be happy to submit to? I understand that all men will make mistakes and sin, just as women do, but if overall, the man you marry isn’t someone you will let lead you because he is too cowardly, bad tempered, controlling… Whatever he is…. Why are you marrying him?

My second thought on this is taken from somewhere in 1 Corinthians. Paul writes that the woman’s body belong to her husband. And then that the man’s belongs to his wife. There in that statement we find that there is a mutual acceptance and ownership within a marriage. The man doesn’t run a dictatorship.

Here is my final thought, and I hope you can pardon the scattered thoughts this morning. The biblical idea of marriage presented to us in Paul’s letters is not restricting. It is the husband serving his family by following Christ and leading his family and it is the wife supporting him, not with blind obedience, but with a godly heart that will encourage and rebuke her husband. It isn’t restricting.

In fact, I think it’s kinda nice.

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9 thoughts on “Marriage

  1. This is a great topic to think through, so easily misunderstood and therefore frustrating but it does not need to be! God is clear in the marriage order, which reflects creation order, and as you pointed out, if you cannot submit and respect your husband why marry him? We get so flustered by the idea of being married n not wanting to be single that people rush in and settle for less, but marriage is for life and it’s worth waiting, trusting in God’s plans n looking for a man who will lead you in godliness. A marriage where there is love n respect in submission and not an unwillingness or even a competitiveness to be the head, will be a great marriage and will be enjoyed! And this is the best marriage to raise kids in coz they will copy the example set to them, n it reflects a love n submission to God.
    Be wise ladies, n pray for wisdom and discernment!
    Thanks Tamara for your thoughts, God is working in you and It’s so encouraging! Love ya
    Kat Harris (Stevenson)

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    1. So many women get married and assume that the man will change and suddenly become perfect. They get hurt and disappointed. I wont marry someone unless I’m sure not that they give me butterflies (though, those are lovely!) but that they’re a godly man who will love God and love his family.
      Thanks for the comment πŸ™‚
      Also, I really like your blog.

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  2. I don’t agree with this quote 100%, but I think it’s got some truth to it πŸ™‚

    β€œWomen marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Einstein

    It makes me lol.

    I’ve been thinking about this issue lately, so thanks for discussing it, Tamara πŸ™‚ Still working through, but this was helpful.

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      1. Hmm. Ok, so… I don’t know where to start lol.

        I guess I find it hard to know what the right balance in a relationship should be. Like, there’s still gotta be discussion and thinking over issues critically, and of course that can – and should – still happen where the husband is the head.

        But what about a couple where the husband is, for personalty reasons more than anything, a less dominant person or less comfortable with decision-making compared to the wife? Is is an okay thing if that’s just the way they are, or is it a bad thing that they should seek to change?

        Then there’s the issue with women in the church, but as you said in your blog, we could leave that one for another day…. πŸ™‚

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      2. I struggle with the dominant personality thought, too. But I voiced that concern with a few guy friends who I think are pretty brilliant and they told me that someone doesn’t need to be louder than you to lead you. If the guy isn’t good at decision making, I’d lean towards him working at it, though…

        Does that make sense?

        Oh, and one thought on women in church. Church is modelled like a family, so maybe church should reflect the family? Not sure if I agree, but I read it somewhere and it’s got me pondering.

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