I was raised to be proud and stubborn, taught to keep my feelings inside and not let anyone see my weaknesses. This has meant that a lesson that will take a lifetime to learn is that of letting go of it all and letting God work in my weakness as opposed to displaying my own strength. Last night John spoke about where our treasure lies, and where it should lie. My treasure often lies in other people’s opinions of me. I do not want them to see me as weak. I do not want them to see me as incapable. I cannot let them see that I do not always cope. Does this give God glory? NO.

One of the things that happens when God comes into our lives is that we admit our own helplessness. We can’t save ourselves, and so we need a savior. We can’t make a way to God, so God comes to us. I can’t do the big stuff on my own, but I can cling to the little stuff and rely on my own capabilities there, right? Wrong. Jesus is Lord of my life and that means everything… That means that it is by His strength that I stand firm in the face of suffering, and by his strength that I drink coffee with an old friend. It is for His glory that I preach the gospel, it is for His glory that I sit next to someone in church.

It’s not about me! I make it about me so often and am so wrapped up in my pride that I cannot see past myself and into God’s epic story of eternity. Where does my treasure lie? In how you  see me, or in Jesus Christ? Not even in how he sees me, but completely and utterly in who he is and what he’s done…

Louie Giglio spoke a while ago in a podcast about how we so often ask God to be involved in our stories without considering that the best invitation we get is to be involved in HIS story. We can play a part in a story that has no beginning and no end, but no… I am too wrapped up in my own story to bother…

Why would I share this with you? Because I am sorry. I am sorry for not always pointing you to God’s glory. I am sorry for relying on my own strength and not His. I am sorry that I have made my pride priority one, and not Jesus Christ.

But… he loves me… in spite of my pride, in spite of my sin, in spite of everything I am… he loves me… and that is my treasure… not that I loved God, but that God loved me and sent his son to die on the cross so that I could be reconciled to him…

I was raised to be proud and stubborn. But now, I am a child of God and I will fall at his feet, and rest in his strength…


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